I have always had a crush on Mark from the second year in secondary school. He was in SS 1 while I was in JSS 2. He was the choice of every girl in school. Everyone wanted to be around him as He is tall, dark, and handsome. I did everything within my reach to ensure he notices me but it all seems like his eye was being covered with a veil. I felt he has a girlfriend and that was why he was not noticing me but after my findings, I discovered he was single and has never been in a relationship. I made up my mind at that moment that I was going to get him.

I went on the internet googling “How to make a guy fall in love with you” and a lot of other questions I feel so ashamed to talk about. I got a lot of information I wish I knew was untrue. One of such is that “With Sex, you can get any man to love you”.

I started moving closer to him and throwing passes at him. He wasn’t reciprocating my gestures at first but with time, he started reciprocating. After some time he asked me out and I said YES. Never knew I would live to regret the YES I said. We became even closer and got so intimate. He demanded sex at different times but I refused, telling him to wait for my birthday as I want it to be memorable.

I had my birthday party at my house. I had prepared my mind for the seemingly most memorable and pleasurable experience of my life. After the party, that night, I and Mark were in my room talking about how the day went. We talked and talked and talked. I was nervous about how to initiate sex and I guess Mark was also anxious.

He eventually leaned forward to kiss me and that was it. We kissed and fondled each other until Mark initiated sex. I had lost my senses and completely forgot Mark never had a condom on him. It was after the first round of sex I realized that he didn’t use a condom. I was afraid but Mark allayed my fears that I wouldn’t get pregnant as it was just once. I was also surprised I didn’t bleed.

In the next month, I was expecting my menses and did see it. I told Mark about it and he told me nothing was wrong that it happens that the menses cease. He gave me some drugs to take to ensure it doesn’t cease the next month which I used.

After some hours I used the drugs, I began to bleed and later fainted. My mom took me to the hospital where I was confirmed that I got pregnant and I was trying to abort it and I had contracted a sexually transmitted infection. The doctor also told my mom that I would have to undergo surgery. I called Mark several times but he didn’t pick my calls.

I cried and cried and cried wishing I got the right information before I had my first sex. I wish I knew:

  • That sex is not equal to love.
  • Having sex without a condom could lead to pregnancy
  • There’s really no need to rush into sex
  • I could get sexually transmitted infections from unprotected sex
  • Not all virgins bleed during the first sex experience.
  • Unsafe abortion could cost me my life.
  • Not all information on the internet about sex is true

Written by Bode Ekerin